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MANAGERS [WHEREVER YOU ARE, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY]

by BEDS

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1.
2F4C3D 03:02
2.
4K 03:33
3.
B4D M4N463R5 03:52
When I kissed your lips I saw a look on your face and it told me everything you didn't want to say So I stayed silent, chalked it up to a bad day You said depression can hit the hardest But I thought you'd be okay, I thought you'd be okay When it comes down to a time when you're no longer mine My head races, smokin' in another pack I contemplate all the ways to escape and all the ways to get you back I don't believe that it is healthy this constant communicaiton But I don't want to believe this love has gone to waste So we're just bad managers We're just bad managers We're just bad managers Bad managers Keep me on the clock, until I get everything I want We're just bad managers Bad managers I'd like to think we've grown from where we've been But I still miss you in the evening I was afraid to tell you everything We're so anxious with our feelings Tell the truths with their meanings I was afraid to tell you anything I used you as an excuse The best drug that I abused Now I've lost you completely Or at least it seems We're bad managers We're just bad managers We're bad managers Bad managers We're not cut out for this, kind of business We're just bad managers Bad managers
4.
- - ICSM 01:07
5.
TBBBID2P 05:39
I hate that I can't sleep at night What am I haunted by I see a look inside your eyes I fight for attention or appetite And I hate to see you go Writing your fictions of spirits and ghost You said you were coming home And I played who loves you the most (And) I pray for better days where I can make it The blood brain barrier is difficult to penetrate The side-effects of receptors in my head Where I fear anything can cause anything My face as I hit the floor Felt so comfortable The dirt in my throat caught up with me Compulsion come build my anxiety You were writing a way out without me And I still feel you when I need you the most And I still hear when you're gone I saw you in the backyard You were flattened by the weight of everything And I felt my arms gain strength Hold this roof over my head again You were pulling up daisies You were screaming at the earth So loud that God could hear you He didn't want to respond to your words You looked up into the sky You felt like you were worthless And I asked myself what could I do? Could I fix this? But you said, "No," you said, "No." You said, "No," you said, "No." I said, "I'm not happy, if you're unhealthy can I stay in this room tonight?" I said, "I'm not happy, if you're unhealthy can I stay in this room tonight?" I said, "I'm not happy, if you're unhealthy can I stay in this room tonight?" I said, "I'm not happy, if you're unhealthy can I be by your side alright?"
6.
T3MP0/3XP 01:05
7.
We all act like we're the best I've never known much I second guess We're all demons with our mask We laugh as we put it in our past Take my hand 'cause I can't take anymore of this And you know what you need to breath A life we've thrown away so many times And I don't have the words that you need (I don't have the words that you need) Weightless in my skin I feel them all And what I fear tonight I know I won't fall asleep The things that I can't shake will always haunt me The things that I cant say I scream in my dreams Take me to a nonessential state Where we over-analyze every f***ing thing Take me to a warm place Where we can forget about being human Take my hand 'cause I can't take anymore of this And you know what you need to breath A life we've thrown away so many f***ing times And I don't have the words that you need (I don't have the words that you need)
8.
3V3RYD4Y 03:37
9.
51D3//51D3 03:38
It's gonna be a long night I'm coming up with white lies We always fit just right When we lay side by side Homebody to this home Divided house, I'll never let go Peeled paint from all the stress we create This place is such a mess but isn't it great? I can cancel all of my plans It's easy when you never make them (If) Cell phones are easily reached Then why does it take so long to get back to me? Just get back to me Just get back to me So get close 'cause when I need you the most Is when I don't want to be alone I want to be clear Could you whisper in my ear Just tell me, just tell me Tell me that you love me even if you're lying 'cause it's what I want to hear Tell me that you love me even if you're lying 'cause it's what I want to hear Tell me that you love me even if you're lying 'cause it's what I want to hear Tell me that you love me as if you're trying 'cause it's what I want to hear
10.
$18.00 01:05
11.
Let's move to somewhere new A shift in this scenery is what we need Anxious as a dream You are everything you seem to be And all those denim jackets in your closet And all those words you can't forget Colleges with rejected letters What words will make it better? What words will make it better? And I can show you city lights From an overpass where the worry seems to stall And you will show me a better life Remind me we're so small that we're nothing when we're gone And I was the king of this house once How I reclaim it for myself And you make feel less broken Like a city light that shines it's way through hell Like a city light that shines it's way through hell

about

MANAGERS is a summary of my life this year (2017). It is a recollection // reminder to be better. I will have moments of doubt // helplessness // fear // anxiety. Keeping those internal especially with the one's I love has resulted in isolation // ambiguity // compulsive decisions // regret. I've been practicing with the knowledge that I can't make everyone happy all of time // I can't be afraid to be honest.

I hope this album brings comfort to others.

"1W45TH3K1N60FTH15H0U53" is a realization that the world has unavoidable situations // often no clear explanation for it. Being with people//someone you love is something worth living for.

All songs were recorded in my bedroom except "B4D M4N463R3" which was written and recorded during a lunch break at work.

While transitioning to my new home, I discovered a cassette tape that my brother recorded. I was roughly three putting him at six years old. He would run around the house making sounds, recording TV programs, trying to get me to sing along with him. I wanted to use as much of that tape as possible.

credits

released October 6, 2017

Gary // the cassette tape // graphic design//print work
Fenn // detailed notes on editing my recordings //
Max // promoting // helping
Kasey // providing the album photo //
Emily // being supportive //
Cody // collaborating on several other projects //

// I am sorry for those I've hurt // I've debated destroying this album several times // In my readings//reflections of radical honesty I realized I was poisoning myself and the relationships around me by not being truthful// I was creating a false sense of myself and manipulating others to see that//

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about

BEDS Haverhill, Massachusetts

BEDS is the solo project of Benjamin Bunker from Haverhill, MA. Facebook.com/1beds message him for shows, he will be DOWN to play them!!!

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